This week should have been my second week of mat leave and instead of triple checking my hospital bag and suffering from insomnia because I'm huge and feel ready to pop the sleeplessness is due to nausea and sickness and the hideousness that is the first trimester. I know there are so many women on the ttc after tmfr board who would love to be in my position right now, but this week I just feel overwhelmed. I'm exhausted - this is my 7th time in fairly quick succession going through the first part and I just never seem to get anywhere. The one time I did my baby was so sick he wouldn't survive birth... And then my 12 week scan date arrived in the post this morning - my due date for Sam. I've been quite calm about this pregnancy so far but I think all my grief, worries about another loss and the collision of the 2 are getting to me. I just don't know how to get up, go to work and pretend all is fine when I'm unravelling inside. My DH is just completely detached from this pregnancy so apart from you guys I feel quite alone right now. Xxx
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