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Just not feeling it

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Am 13 weeks pregnant. Last Monday was my due date from my tfmr. I've had clear harmony test. Scan on Thursday baby moving about. I feel nothing for the baby, I don't even pat my belly or look at my scan photo. I still don't seem to believe this will happen and I can't let go. Our folks know and a couple of my bridesmaids. Telling DS on Monday night as he's with his dad this weekend. Am just numb, deep down I know it's self preservation but god will I let go? The poor baby :-(

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