I know this may sound really silly but I feel so sad after my appointment with the consultant yesterday. It was awful as consultant clearly wanted to knock off for the day. She confirmed very quickly that she was still in breech which was really disheartening as felt sure moxibustion had worked.
Then said that her heart rate was up so would be sent to triage to be monitored and also instantly started booking us in for an elective c section without asking us about it. She was very dismissive when we tried to ask her more questions about waiting. So went to triage to be hooked up. Heart rate was fine, just she's very active.
Then a surgeon turned up with a consent form, rattled off a load of horrible risks, said your consultant will have gone through this and told me to sign. I hate to admit that my very mature reaction was to start crying and say honestly "No she hasn't". To be fair the poor surgeon and midwife looked mortified that she hasn't gone through any of this because she probably wanted to rush go home and just get us booked in without any questions or arguments. So am now booked in for a c section on 12th June.
Am very scared and feel a bit bad for not agreeing to an ecv but I recently read on another board where an aggressive ecv had led to the death of someone's baby and also it only had a 50% success rate. I also kept thinking because she's apparently big and her legs are placed awkwardly so am willing to accept that she may be that way up for a reason.
But now I just feel so sad. I didn't want a c section. I wanted to have a normal birth like most women do. I did hypnobirthing which made me able to relax but now I feel more scared than ever. I feel the birth had been taken from me and I just can't stop crying. I'm scared of dying and I'm scared of the squidge dying. I'm scared of things going wrong and not being able to have any more children and being in lots of pain.
Also as per my previous post about my mum trying to guilt trip me into a c section it does feel almost like she's been proven right. I never would have been able to have her normally because I'm small which is something that had affected me my whole life after being told by my mum what I couldn't do or wear or be.
Then said that her heart rate was up so would be sent to triage to be monitored and also instantly started booking us in for an elective c section without asking us about it. She was very dismissive when we tried to ask her more questions about waiting. So went to triage to be hooked up. Heart rate was fine, just she's very active.
Then a surgeon turned up with a consent form, rattled off a load of horrible risks, said your consultant will have gone through this and told me to sign. I hate to admit that my very mature reaction was to start crying and say honestly "No she hasn't". To be fair the poor surgeon and midwife looked mortified that she hasn't gone through any of this because she probably wanted to rush go home and just get us booked in without any questions or arguments. So am now booked in for a c section on 12th June.
Am very scared and feel a bit bad for not agreeing to an ecv but I recently read on another board where an aggressive ecv had led to the death of someone's baby and also it only had a 50% success rate. I also kept thinking because she's apparently big and her legs are placed awkwardly so am willing to accept that she may be that way up for a reason.
But now I just feel so sad. I didn't want a c section. I wanted to have a normal birth like most women do. I did hypnobirthing which made me able to relax but now I feel more scared than ever. I feel the birth had been taken from me and I just can't stop crying. I'm scared of dying and I'm scared of the squidge dying. I'm scared of things going wrong and not being able to have any more children and being in lots of pain.
Also as per my previous post about my mum trying to guilt trip me into a c section it does feel almost like she's been proven right. I never would have been able to have her normally because I'm small which is something that had affected me my whole life after being told by my mum what I couldn't do or wear or be.