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21 weeks and struggling

I’m currently in bed 21 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby boy feeling him kick and roll around inside me and all I can think of is my little girl. My heart feels broken all over again today. Today has been the first day since the beginning of this pregnancy where OH and I have had a chance to spend a full day together and we have been so happy all day just soaking in the baby kicks and looking at all the little things we have bought for him so far but come night time I just feel guilt over being so happy without her. I wish I could have both these babies in my life but sadly one without the other would never have been possible.

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