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Totally Emotional

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Today I had my early reassurance scan due to having my daughter by TFMR in Feb this year at 14 weeks.


Baby had a heart beat and can be seen etc and everything looks well for this stage. It hasn’t reassured me though, I’m totally anxious still now waiting for the 12 week scan. It didn’t help that I haven’t been back to the hospital since it happened in Feb and today I was left to wait in the same room they put me to deliver baby in last time. I even saw the same midwife and sonographer, totally by chance and have been crying all morning.


They have advised a scan for the NT can be done as early as 11+2 but they recommend at 12 as more structural qualities can be seen then too. I am however on holiday abroad from 11+5 so have booked a private reassurance scan for 11+2 before I go and then will have the NHS one when I return so I’m hoping providing all is okay, this will give me some reasurance. Is this the right thing to do do you think? The sooner I know the better obviously but do I want to be going abroad with bad news knowing I will potentially having to terminate again when I’m home? Or will I not even relax seeing the NT being okay because I know there are still other hurdles to jump when I get back?


Another thing, and totally stupid I know, but the number 6 became a bit of an omen for me. My last baby’s NT was initially measured at 6mm and the subsequent paperwork and decision to terminate was done on the 6th and My now perfectly healthy daughter was induced due to a low AFI score of 6. So I decided, I didn’t like the number 6 anymore. BUT, I found out I was pregnant on the 6/4 and and this reassurance private scan I have now booked is on the 6/6!


I’m not necessarily a superstitious person but I can’t help but freak out at this.


Any advice? I definitely want to have the scan at the best time to get the best results which is why I’m keeping the NHS one for 12 weeks when they recommend but am I right having one a little earlier too just for some reassurance? My anxiety is through the roof right now :(

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