Rainbow after spina bifida

Just a couple of questions really.. don't know why I'm asking them I think a lot of me on here is just rambling..


I lost shelby 6 days ago.. tfmr due to spina bifida myelomeningocele with hydrocephalus and arnold chiari malformation..


I'm just wondering a couple of things..

1. Is it normal to feel desperate for another baby? I don't feel like I'm replacing her or trying to. I feel like I'm trying to fill the hole that's in me though.. is that the same?

2. Should I even be thinking of it so soon?

3. Iv been told to take 3 months of 5mg folic acid which I fully intend to but iv seen a few people who have started ttc earlier than 3 months of full folic acid.. was that because a doctor gave you the go ahead or did you just chance it and get lucky?

4. Did anybody feel like they needed to be pregnant for their due date? I feel like it's the only thing that will get me through it :/

5. What happened when you did get pregnant again? Did you see the midwife sooner/consultants and extra tests etc?


Sorry for so many questions.. I can't get any answers to why this happened to me so I'm feeling like the only way to get through it is to ask any questions that just pop into my head :( xx