Still bitter about pregnancy?

Hi ladies I wanted to ask your advice as I am concerned about the way I am feeling towards two best friends who recently told me they are pregnant within this past week. One just got her bfp the other just had 12 week scan.


I am starting to feel like something is wrong with me and like a nasty person. I am so happy for them but my truer deeper feeling is that I am sad, I am sat here crying about them and crying about myself for feeling this way. Is that because I'm scared I still won't get my take home baby and they will? And it's going to be harder because they would be so close in age? Or am I just bitter forever about pregnancy now? Even to those I love? Is it because things went wrong at my 12 week scan with my angel?I will never get over the loss of my angel, is it jealousy? But I have got my bfp, I have had my positive good scans, I am 21 weeks and everything has gone well so far so why am I still bitter/sad? I don't get it. I keep having flashbacks to my 12 week scan so maybe it is all to do with that. Does anybody else feel like this or am I just horrible? Do you think I need to go back to my counsellor? I was doing so well I didn't think I needed it anymore.


Made a cup of tea and got a Terry's chocolate orange, hopefully will calm down soon.


Xx