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Struggling :(

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Hello lovely ladies. Looking for some support. I've really struggled the last few weeks :( it's my tfmr Angels due date on the 25th but as I was going to have a section it's likely he would of been born this week. Just feeling so sad about it all and remembering back to how I felt in April. Alongside this I feel so disconnected from my pregnancy more so as my 20 week scan approaches. I just don't like thinking about the baby incase I find out I have to say goodbye again or incase there is something else majorly wrong or he comes early. I so want to be happy and excited but I just want to cry.


I found out last week I'm having another boy which is wonderful but there had been a big part of me hoping for a daughter so it was just completely different from my angel and I could differentiate between them if that makes any sense? I feel so guilty for feeling this way and struggle to explain how I'm feeling without it coming across bad :( Where I fell pregnant quickly after my termination I feel like the two pregnancies are blurring together and like I should be getting a baby soon. I just feel so sad and tired all the time and feel like my living son is suffering. My hubby is being great but he doesn't feel the same way as I do about eddies due date and told me earlier I need to stop living in the past I don't feel like it is I feel like I'm living in the now and although my new pregnancy has started to heal me the wound is still open and raw.


Thank you for reading. I feel a bit lost at the moment. If I try and talk to my friends I'm dismissed or they say the wrong thing. I guess I feel a little bit lonely xx

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