Hi Ladies,
This is a new one for me. I have always enjoyed being pregnant (apart from my angel pregnancy where I felt that there was something wrong from the beginning and pretty much cried the whole pregnancy).
Anyway, this time I was absolutely amazed and elated to be pregnant again and from the beginning have felt that everything will be ok this time. However, as time has gone on I have felt increasingly down and bleak about the future and overcome with worry about how I will cope with a new baby with my other children and work commitments. I don't feel that I can talk to my husband about this and can't really confide in anyone I know.
I actually feel at times like someone has literally let the air out of me, totally deflated and I don't feel excited by anything. I think about my angel a lot of the time and the guilt of letting her go is still very raw although I do not doubt that it was the right decision.
I have my 20 week scan next week and not sure whether this is what is actually playing on my mind, or whether what I am feeling is hormonal or vitamim deficiency or what. I don't really want to seek GP advice at this point as I don't want to go on medication for this, I would rather try other ways to feel better. And I don't want it to affect my birth choices.
Has anyone experienced this at all and found that it improves later in pregnancy? Is it because it's a rainbow pregnancy or maybe because it's my 5th baby (4th living baby hopefully)? Any help appreciated x