I have a friend whose son is close to my son. We became close in March 2013 when she came to my son's party and told me that she'd had a still born baby boy in Jan if that year. I knew something had happened as she was 32 weeks but I didn't know her well enough to ask.
I'd had a miscarriage a few months before and it turned out we both had one before our sons were born.
We became friends but in Summer 2013 when I told her I was pregnant with Ruby (who we later lost to TFMR) our relationship suffered as I think she found it so hard to be around me when pregnant.
Sadly I had the TFMR in August and when she found out (after the event) we got much closer and have shared a lot of times since.
It's been on my mind how to tell her I am pregnant and now I have passed 12 weeks I hoped I could say but I can't find the words. What makes it a hundred times harder is that I just found out that she herself had a TFMR in July and didn't tell anyone. I've been trying to be a good friend since I found out (as she's suffering with depression) but I can't help but feel awful that I have this news which will be hard to her to hear.
My counsellor has already told many times that I can't control her reaction to my news and if she needs to avoid me to protect herself then that's what she'll do.
It's so hard as she has given up this information to me and I feel I betraying her all the time I don't say I am pregnant. Our sons are good friends and I don't want that to change but I know it will when I finally tell her.
I am trying to think when would be best to say but I don't think there is a time when it would be less painful. I also have mixed feelings because I have seen my share of pain and want to be happy for my good news so far.
It's so hard and I was hoping someone would offer some words of wisdom as to how to break this news and deal with the outcome.
I'll be discussing it with my counsellor tomorrow and I know she will tell me not to worry but it's so hard.
I'd had a miscarriage a few months before and it turned out we both had one before our sons were born.
We became friends but in Summer 2013 when I told her I was pregnant with Ruby (who we later lost to TFMR) our relationship suffered as I think she found it so hard to be around me when pregnant.
Sadly I had the TFMR in August and when she found out (after the event) we got much closer and have shared a lot of times since.
It's been on my mind how to tell her I am pregnant and now I have passed 12 weeks I hoped I could say but I can't find the words. What makes it a hundred times harder is that I just found out that she herself had a TFMR in July and didn't tell anyone. I've been trying to be a good friend since I found out (as she's suffering with depression) but I can't help but feel awful that I have this news which will be hard to her to hear.
My counsellor has already told many times that I can't control her reaction to my news and if she needs to avoid me to protect herself then that's what she'll do.
It's so hard as she has given up this information to me and I feel I betraying her all the time I don't say I am pregnant. Our sons are good friends and I don't want that to change but I know it will when I finally tell her.
I am trying to think when would be best to say but I don't think there is a time when it would be less painful. I also have mixed feelings because I have seen my share of pain and want to be happy for my good news so far.
It's so hard and I was hoping someone would offer some words of wisdom as to how to break this news and deal with the outcome.
I'll be discussing it with my counsellor tomorrow and I know she will tell me not to worry but it's so hard.