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Why is this so hard :(

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Hi all


You'll probably have seen some of my previous posts.


I'm really struggling this pregnancy with anxiety. I'm over 11 weeks and have my 12 week scan this week. I had to have a tfmr in June due to spina bifida diagnosis picked up at our 20 week scan.


I have also been diagnosed with a hematoma this time which they don't seem concerned about but which worries me.


I can't accept that I might have a baby to take home this time. It just doesn't seem like a possibility but I want to be excited about this pregnancy. I have an early anomaly scan at 16 weeks but it feels so far away just now I can't even see me managing to get to then.

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