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1 year today since my bad news scan

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This exact time last year, dh and I were sitting in a room with fetal care midwife telling us it looked like our baby had a chromosomal abnormality. Our world was crumbling around our ears.

On 2nd August it will be 1 year since delivering Esmè. I can feel the darkness descending as the anniversaries creep up. The scan, the cvs, the results, the tablet, the delivery. We also had ds2's birthday in amongst them all where I had to put on a brave face for his party and for him. I'm not sure his bday will ever feel happy to me again!

It's like everyone has forgotten Esmè now though. A friend this morning said "I suppose you can't imagine yourself having a girl with you having 2 boys". I just thought But I had a girl, please remember!

Anyway, no point to the post really, just feeling a bit low today.

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