Hi ladies, I'm not sure if this post will make any sense but thoughts are going round and round and need to get them out...
Basically I'm torn between just wanting to live in a bubble until my baby is safely here (fingers crossed) and needing to get on with my life for the sake of my DH and DS who is nearly 2. I just want to retreat into a world where I never forget to open all the windows in my house, take cool showers, sleep with a sheet and not a duvet, eat only thoroughly cooked, scrubbed, nutritious food, never forget to have decaf instead of caffeinated...the world, just living a normal life feels so unsafe : ( but there are mornings when I am in a rush and forget to turn my shower down, there are nights when my husband pulls the duvet over and closes the window because he's so fed up of being so bloody cold all the time. Or the train gets too hot and I can't get the window open...We went out for a very special dinner last night and whilst I tried to be calm, with the chef assuring me that everything he was giving me was safe in pregnancy, DS then asked me to try a mouthful of his and he put a bit of runny quail egg in my mouth! Why didn't I think to ask what he was giving me?!? It was the most amazing restaurant, so expensive but I know I took away from the experience for DH with my worrying...
I don't know what the point of this is but I just don't feel like I'm keeping my baby safe but surely most people don't have to go through this ridiculousness to have a healthy baby?!? How do I live my life and keep my baby ok? If it even is ok...
Urgh. Sorry for the rant, I just don't know what to do anymore...x
Basically I'm torn between just wanting to live in a bubble until my baby is safely here (fingers crossed) and needing to get on with my life for the sake of my DH and DS who is nearly 2. I just want to retreat into a world where I never forget to open all the windows in my house, take cool showers, sleep with a sheet and not a duvet, eat only thoroughly cooked, scrubbed, nutritious food, never forget to have decaf instead of caffeinated...the world, just living a normal life feels so unsafe : ( but there are mornings when I am in a rush and forget to turn my shower down, there are nights when my husband pulls the duvet over and closes the window because he's so fed up of being so bloody cold all the time. Or the train gets too hot and I can't get the window open...We went out for a very special dinner last night and whilst I tried to be calm, with the chef assuring me that everything he was giving me was safe in pregnancy, DS then asked me to try a mouthful of his and he put a bit of runny quail egg in my mouth! Why didn't I think to ask what he was giving me?!? It was the most amazing restaurant, so expensive but I know I took away from the experience for DH with my worrying...
I don't know what the point of this is but I just don't feel like I'm keeping my baby safe but surely most people don't have to go through this ridiculousness to have a healthy baby?!? How do I live my life and keep my baby ok? If it even is ok...
Urgh. Sorry for the rant, I just don't know what to do anymore...x